I am beginning to understand it much better now. I was expecting a mature conversation about our son's visitation.
Its obvious I am trying to use logic to understand her situation. I feel like I have to get used to driving on the left side of the road when I have driven on the right side my entire life. I am just hoping I get used to it and don't cause a wreck.
It's okay to state that you wouldnt keep her son from her. But you might consider following up that sentence with a dose of reality next time....".....unless there is a reason for me to be concerned for his safety..."
The seat belt incident oughta slap her right upside the head if you were to say that. It has to be stated matter of factly though. Not with condemnation. She'll HEAR condemnation and judgment but that's her problem to deal with. Don't shelter her from reality. Keep it simple but state facts.
Word of caution: Don't expect her to wake up the first time you try this. It could take many times and even still, it may NEVER wake her up. It's still your best tactic in my opinion though because it will keep the guilt monster off your back - and believe me, it will always be sniffing around YOUR door even if it doesn't seem to so much as give her a passing glance.
"Let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" 1 Cor. 10:12
You are trying to make sense out of something that simply doesn’t.
If you are concerned about your son’s safety, address it through the courts. It is the only way that she MAY hear your concerns.
This could be MLC, but I feel like you think it is bigger. That there are drugs involved. If there are, especially hard drugs, which is what I think you are hinting at, there will be much more confusion that simply the usual MLC stuff.
It is ok to be angry, but please do your best to keep your son out of the middle of that.
You cannot make her be a good mother right now. That is up to her. Just be the best father you can and give that little guy the best of his father. He will remember it.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Well, I just found out that the my WAS did not receive court papers. Sheriff tried two times at her place of employment. They were unable to reach her both times.
She has a desk job and does not travel.
Could she be trying to avoid being served?
I will now have to have a courier hand deliver them.
Regardless of why she wasn't served, good luck with the New WAS once she gets papers.
MLCers are not just called aliens because they're so different from who they used be. They suddenly have "shape changer" powers, used without warning and rarely in a good way. Knowing she is getting papers = WARNING!
I feel like I have no choice. She is not putting our Son's best interests first. I have asked her nicely to help provide for our son. She has yet to do so.
If she morphs into another personality, I will have to deal with it. But, I have to do what is best for my son right now.
Thank you for the support. I am so glad I joined this board. Everyone does a great job supporting each other.
Yeah, my son is mini me. We had a blast in the grocery store today. Its amazing how he could remember what items we needed to buy. Of course, he wanted a snack or two.
Being the wonderful dad that I am, I made sure he gave me a kiss before I let him place his snacks in the shopping cart.
Actually, he had to give me 3 kisses before I let him place his fruit snacks in the cart...:)
Also, we are going to visit a home that I really like for the second time on Saturday. I will take my son along to see if he approves.
My guys are grown now. When they were small and I packed their school lunch every morning, one of them was hung up on bologna on bread - plain and dry. At first I spoiled him by cutting off the crust, just because he thought it was best that way. Then I got out some cookie cutters and started punching out star shaped sandwiches and so on. I also free handed specials, like a pumpkin with the eyes and mouth trimmed out.
His friends at lunch were always waiting to see what he would pull out each day, and I got used to eating the left over trimmings as I made the sandwiches. Of course it would probably work with peanut butter and jelly also.
Or maybe try making some Mickey Mouse pancakes. Two little round ear pancakes poured next to a large round head pancake. Make face with chocolate chips or syrup, cherries, whip cream, etc. Of course it could be easier to find a cafe willing to make those for both of you.
In whatever you do, consider being prepared to take candid photos of your beautiful son to frame around the new house ... wonderful new memories. Maybe your mom would enjoy taking some of you two together.
If you get a house we can all share ideas on decorating bedrooms for special little boys. As a matter of fact, I think I recall Jack3B describing a jungle theme he did. Or maybe that was his room?
Good luck to you on making your time with your son unforgettable for both of you.
