I have still been reading the DR book. Now for me to milk out a good book for this long is not like me. But I am not just reading it to read it I am reading and trying to digest it at the same time. I am finding a lot of useful things in the book. However my story has yet to be completed and I don't know exactly how it is going to end. I try to be happy when H comes over or when ever we talk or for that fact text, but sometimes he just wants to fight. Even if he won't admit that this is what he is trying to do.
Today I was happy and upbeat and I believe really pulled off the little ray of sunshine. We had a good visit. and that is where I have let it lie. I would rather give him the leave on a good and see what tomorrow brings then take the chance of fighting tonight over the phone.
I am trying to put the OW off to the far reaches of my mind and do a 180. I am being the happy go lucky you arent gonna rain on my parade girl. This I believe is part of what H fell in love with in the first place. In the winter of my life on the darkest night of the year I am being my own personal sunshine. I know in my heart of hearts this OW will fade into the dark and the EMA will die on its own, After all you can't start something without trust and both of them are WAS.
The other part of what I believe H was attracked to is my strength. My strength comes from my sunshine. And this stregnth radiates outward for the world to see. So I am parting the clouds and letting this shine through. I am GAL, my own BACK!
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
