You know more than you think, Tal...You're right about the vast grey area between "normal" personality traits and "Personality Disorders".
As for passive aggression...pretty much on the mark...except that a LOT of it can be UNCONSCIOUS!!! CJ HATES when I breathe this phrase...but I have seen this pattern in him.
Here are a few subtler examples (most from the past, but not all):
CJ knows physical touch is one of Shiny's top LL's...but witholds it.
CJ knows how much photos mean to Shiny, takes many with his 39th birthday gift (expensive digital camera)...but never quite "gets around" to printing them out.
CJ knows that the income tax refund from FOUR years ago is a big issue...but as it's "money coming back" doesn't see any urgency to resolve it (we're talking $10,000!!!)
CJ maintains that it's just laziness? But we all KNOW how motivated the guy can be when he wants to!!!
As for Narcissim... again most of us have some degree of it.
Here are the DSM criteria for the Personality Disorder:
A PERVASIVE pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and apparent in a varitey of contexts....FIVE or more of the following must be evident:
1) grandiose sense of self-importance (eg. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior with out deserving it)
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brialliance, beauty, or ideal love
3) believes he is special and unique and can only be understood by, or associate with other special or high status people
4) requires excessive admiration
5) has a sense of entitlement (eg. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment, or automatic compliance with his expectations)
6) is interpersonally exploitative eg takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends
7) lacks empathy, is unwilling or recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8) is often envious of others or believes that they are envious of him
9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
