Treese, Never say never...you'll go to Hawaii one day and you'll enjoy it. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Your not feeling well and the anniversary looming not that far off has triggered this jag of self pity and sorrow. Do something different on your anniversary, focus on the positives in your life. You've got quite a few: parents, children, your health, a job, home, and friends. Your h has nothing but the ow and a child born out of wedlock. He's really made a mess of his life and you cannot fix him.
So, what do you do? Start looking at your glass as half full and do not expect your h to be anything but what he is right now...childish and shelfish. Just because he comes to your home, you cannot "expect" him to act like an adult and do the right thing. Your expectations are far too high for this man/child. I'm very sorry about your daughter. It's tough when a parent checks out of a marriage.
Please do not allow that man and the ow space in your head. It's quite evident he's still stuck in his childhood phase. Let go, let God. That's all you can do. Keep the focus on you and your children and do not look to your h for anything at this time.
