I am a fellow computer guy myself who is having problems in my marriage. You have 3 of the best on this board in Puppy, Coach, & Kett helping you. You need to listen to them carefully. I read the two books suggested NMMNG and CNM; both helped me understand how I was driving my W away. I would strongly suggest reading them and give your W the space she desires.
By the way, with the help of the 3 mentioned above and many others, I think I may have been able to turn my marriage around. You can do this too. Good luck.
