WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

It took me a couple of days, but I got past the anniversay doldrums. I got settled into my apt somewhat. I did talk to my boys each nite, just by phone. She said she didn't have time to set up skype on Tuesday. I was a little annoyed but didn't let it bother me as I had fun talking with my boys.

My 3 year old was still sick but was starting to come around. I know she gets extremely agitated/frustrated when she is home with him/them for extended periods when they are sick. They can be very difficult.

I got back into the routine of going out to eat dinner with friends (there was a few day period where I would just grab take out and eat in my hotel room alone). I realized it was not healthy sitting in my hotel room alone. I didn't get to run this week as the weather is miserable (it flurried today - ACK!) and I don't have access to a gym yet. One of my friends belongs to a gym and another has a fitness center in his apt complex so I'm going to utilize one of those.

No progress in the relationship with my WAW but I'm back on a better slope. I still miss my boys and really look forward to talking with them every nite but am finding time to enjoy my time with friends and by myself. (Thanks for the reminders "Mom")

I'm not sure if it's because I feel like I've made my last noble effort by inviting her to dinner for our anniversary or I'm just fed up and tired of all her nuttiness and stupidity. I do realize that I've done all that I've could to get her to see that there may be a path back. I know I can't drag/trick (nor do I want to) her back on it nor can I do anymore to make the path any more enticing. It's now up to her to head down that path. If she ever does take that path, I'm not sure if she'll still find me there for her.

While I would love to try to renew my marriage with my WAW, I see that, for my boys and I, we need to continue to head forward and upward in life. This "waiting/stagnation" position is not what's in the best of interest of the boys or I. The boys need to see that from me.

So I find myself in a better place...... for the moment :-)

Thanks for everyone's continued support, encouragement and wisdom.