Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[CABBR]

You could be describing what our household was like. It lasted like that for a couple of months -- some days better than others -- and then it got a little more comfortable, mostly just because we both got skilled at scheduling our days to avoid each other, and at dealing with each other without any angry outbursts.

Thankfully, we busted her affair in under three months. Some take much longer.

What you describe is EXACTLY why I'm such a strong proponent of trying to bust affairs as fast as possible, rather than the "Little Bo-Peep" approach (you know, "leave them alone, and they'll come home, wagging their tails behind them"). Every month an affair continues, is another month of the kind of turmoil for the betrayed spouse that you describe above, not to mention the financial and even medical risks that continue.

Puppy

E-man, PDT is spot on with this. He advocated exposing the EA in my sitch and I was glad I had firewalled the finances. Because once the EA exposure bomb detonated my W was like "a witch doused with holy water" (from PDT) and the entitlement beast really started to rear its head.

While it hastened my W's decision to file, it also KILLED the EA dead in its tracks plus I was financially protected in the interim. In my sitch, my W used the exposure as justification to file, which, if you think about it, is just irrational.

CABBR