On the job, would you dive in and immediately start forcing or implementing radical changes in a new system you didn't know well?
No I would not but I would have to complete a discovery phase for the project which does involve a million questions, which my wife gets frustrated with. She told me the other day, she is tired of all of my questions.
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You may have thought you knew your marriage and your wife well, but current events would argue otherwise. This is the listening and observation stage for you. Clearly, you *can't* handle it the way you would at work (by asking a million questions), but you can contemplate the things she has told you already and do some solid reading on the subject (I believe you've had some good book recommendations already;.
Yes I did think I knew my wife and marriage well. Obviously I did not. Something I heard today was I should "Study my wife and learn what she wants from me in life" I have never studied my wife to that extent. I guess I simply got to know her over time.
I am trying to read and learn how to become a better man and husband for her. That is really my only option and hope for her to return to me.
She is seeking her independence as she has stated she wants to do what she wants, when she wants and how she wants. Which means without me. I need to learn how I we can be happily married and still be two independent people. Right now I don't believe she thinks I am even thinking like this and would not believe me if I told her. She says actions speak louder than words. The million dollar question is how to show her my actions without smothering her.