I am little confused and hesistant though with pulling back on the spending time with him. Reason is because going to the gym and pool/hot tub are new things for us doing together. I had previously gone to the gym with a few girlfriends and then one guy friend (which he wasn't happy about). He would always go to another gym with other male friends on occasion through the years (but not religiously like he does now). I had asked him many times for us to go together, just the two of us. But it never happened. He was always too busy with work and other stuff. So, when he asked me to go to gym with him and has continued to do so, I have taken the opportunity to go because it was something that I had wanted for us to do together for a long time. Now whether or not it is a part of him reaching out to me, I'm not entirely sure. But every time we go, I always offer to drive myself and/or meet him there, and each time he has said No, just ride with me or just come with me. It is also during this time that I'm noticing his conversations with me are starting to become more open with his feelings about things that have transpired during the day or things that he has had to deal with or is thinking about. More progress in my mind, because he is not just making mere general conversation, it is starting to relate to him and his feelings, not about our R, but at least to some of his internal conflicts.
Case in point: Last night, H comes home and chats away. Relates a story about shopping for some new sandals over last weekend. (I know what he is looking for because we had looked together for them before the bomb.) Anyways, says he tried a pair on that he was interested in and "response he got from person he was with was "Those cost that much? (with sarcasm)". I laughed inside and then said "Of course they cost that much, they're leather and are going to last you forever. I even expected you'd be paying more, so in my mind that's a great price!" He replied that he was in total agreement with me.
Told me about being reprimanded at work for getting there late a couple times this week. They've noticed it becoming more prominent (which he has never had a problem with in the past.) Another result of his overnight stays during the week and on Sunday's before Monday morning work.
Then on way to gym, relayed that he is not happy with his Brother right now (who is like the Other OW right now as well). B didn't follow through on a request H had made of him for his upcoming weekend plans and B always is doing this to him even though H can go out of his way to do many things for B. Now H has to scramble to put a plan together that's going to cost him a lot more money. Again, I laughed inside because this was the dynamic before H reached back out to B before the Bomb and why H didn't have a relationship with his B.
Also, H got a little jealous of some of my weekend plans with all of his "old friends". I also implied a lot of mystery and not sure-ness to my weekend plans that he was getting a little perplexed by.
Don't think H had such a good day yesterday (snickering inside).
Last edited by aflowergurlie; 10/15/0908:12 PM.
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids We were M-12Y T-15Y 5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms 01/10 I filed for D / H moved out 09/16/10 Divorced
