"The Love Dare" is generally not considered to be good DBing around here, and it's DEFINITELY not the book for you and your own sitch right now. It's practically a TEXTBOOK for Smothering.
It's better for two people who are both re-committed to the marriage, and wanting to reconcile and get things back on track.
The other two books that Coach suggested would be perfect.
I hope you know I'm not just trying to bust your ballz. In many ways, YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE ME. I wrote my wife beautifuli song lyrics, gave her roses, sent her e-mails -- everything.
It doesn't work, and I just am trying to prevent you from prolonging the agony any longer than you have to. This is a process, and it DOES take a ton of patience, but it CAN be done a little quicker or a lot slower, depending on how well you follow the steps.
I hope you know I'm not just trying to bust your ballz. In many ways, YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE ME. I wrote my wife beautifuli song lyrics, gave her roses, sent her e-mails -- everything.
Used to give foot rubs too, didn't ya?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I thank every single one of you for your advice today. I have not read anything that I do not agree with. I am really trying hard today. When you are with someone almost everyday for 7 years then all of a sudden they don't want to be around you or hear from you, it feels like I have been thrown away like a piece of trash.
I will heed the advice I am hearing and detach and let her have that independence she is seeking. At least we are still in the same house, so it could be worse. I will hold onto the hope that if she sees me giving her what she wants she will know that I am for real and I am really trying.
I need to figure out my goals and write them down. I just cannot put my finger on what they should be yet.
Keeping myself busy is important. The busier I am the less likely I am to sit around and email or call her at work. I need to stay busy at work as well because I have access to email all day long and it will be tempting next week when I am back at work to send her emails.
It is a rainy chilly day today and I have the day off from work. I went to the Borders Books and picked up this book called the Love Dare. It is suppose to be a 40 day journey to getting your marriage back. I found out about it after watching the movie Fireproof last night. So decided to go to my favorite coffee shop where they have free wireless and good coffee and read and reflect.
Some things that I am really missing right now:
- The smell of her hair - The softness of her skin - The sound of her laugh - The beauty of her smile - Having dinner together - Going to the gym together - Kissing her goodnight every night
I thank every single one of you for your advice today. I have not read anything that I do not agree with. I am really trying hard today. When you are with someone almost everyday for 7 years then all of a sudden they don't want to be around you or hear from you, it feels like I have been thrown away like a piece of trash.
I will heed the advice I am hearing and detach and let her have that independence she is seeking. At least we are still in the same house, so it could be worse. I will hold onto the hope that if she sees me giving her what she wants she will know that I am for real and I am really trying.
I need to figure out my goals and write them down. I just cannot put my finger on what they should be yet.
Keeping myself busy is important. The busier I am the less likely I am to sit around and email or call her at work. I need to stay busy at work as well because I have access to email all day long and it will be tempting next week when I am back at work to send her emails.
It is a rainy chilly day today and I have the day off from work. I went to the Borders Books and picked up this book called the Love Dare. It is suppose to be a 40 day journey to getting your marriage back. I found out about it after watching the movie Fireproof last night. So decided to go to my favorite coffee shop where they have free wireless and good coffee and read and reflect.
Some things that I am really missing right now:
- The smell of her hair - The softness of her skin - The sound of her laugh - The beauty of her smile - Having dinner together - Going to the gym together - Kissing her goodnight every night
By the way, I have not contacted my wife all day since she told me enough for today.
I have a couple of different directions I can go in now and am getting advice from both directions. I am afraid if I take the wrong path I will end up failing.
I hope you know I'm not just trying to bust your ballz. In many ways, YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE ME. I wrote my wife beautifuli song lyrics, gave her roses, sent her e-mails -- everything.
Yep. Maybe you will fail. Guess what? It's the rare person whose entire remaining life is determined by one day of failure. You are holding on so tight and trying so hard to control your situation, no wonder you're driving yourself *and* your wife crazy.
At the moment, you *do* risk driving her away, at least for now, just so she can get a little peace. All because you have to feel like you're doing *something*. When you leave her alone, you ARE doing something. You are *respecting her requests* as if you actually understand that she is her own person with her own needs, not just an extension of you. Think about it.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Yep. Maybe you will fail. Guess what? It's the rare person whose entire remaining life is determined by one day of failure. You are holding on so tight and trying so hard to control your situation, no wonder you're driving yourself *and* your wife crazy.
At the moment, you *do* risk driving her away, at least for now, just so she can get a little peace. All because you have to feel like you're doing *something*. When you leave her alone, you ARE doing something. You are *respecting her requests* as if you actually understand that she is her own person with her own needs, not just an extension of you. Think about it.
That makes perfect sense! I like the idea that I am doing something by leaving her alone.
I am a IT consultant and my job consists of me coming up with solutions to difficult problems for large government agencies. I have been trained to find ways to fix things. I feel like I have met my match with my marriage and don't even have the opportunity to fix it.
I am a IT consultant and my job consists of me coming up with solutions to difficult problems for large government agencies. I have been trained to find ways to fix things. I feel like I have met my match with my marriage and don't even have the opportunity to fix it.
Sometimes the 'answer' is a "1" and sometimes it's a "0". Both are equally valid, no?
I am a IT consultant and my job consists of me coming up with solutions to difficult problems for large government agencies. I have been trained to find ways to fix things. I feel like I have met my match with my marriage and don't even have the opportunity to fix it.
Sometimes the 'answer' is a "1" and sometimes it's a "0". Both are equally valid, no?
Puppy
0's and 1's are simply open and closed bits in a single bite. So yes I guess they are both equally valid.
