Tal, sounds like you have a great handle on what you need to do for yourself, h, and marriage. Gosh I hate that withdrawing! My H and I both do it at times....I have been quite an expert at the silent treatment torture, not speaking for days at a time...he is great at just losing himself in the television and sports....
Anyway, it's different for me. H cannot handle R talks at all...so I have to work on positive reinforcements of things that are working for me and H and lots of positive affirmation of him and his good deeds...lol...a lot like behavior modification I studied in college....only rewarding the good, trying hard to ignore the bad....seems there is less and less bad then... Don't know if that helped or if I am just rambling on here... I guess I would just encourage you to do whatever you need to do for the R with love, patience, tolerance, and respect toward H... When I remember that my H is another fragile human being, trying the best he can to attain happiness....he doesn't look so Alien!
