I'll second what Kett said about anger, esp. if Mrs. Thinker had a father who yelled or got angry. Even if her father wasn't abusive, per se, an angry man might throw her straight back to 'scared little girl' in a hurry.
Note: I am not telling you not to FEEL anger, nor am I telling you your anger isn't valid or justified (it is both) - I'm just seconding the caution about how the anger gets expressed.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137