Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Kettricken]

I will throw in the caveat here (as it applies to your whole sitch, not just today) that it is really hard to hear someone who is yelling. No matter how justified their anger is.

If you will allow me to personalize a bit for a moment.... earlier in our marriage, my husband had a bit of a temper. He was never "heard" in his FOO, and so feeling "not heard" (respected, understood, fitb) in our marriage went straight to those tangled pathways he grew up with. Hence, yelling and some throwing and minor breaking on occasion. He never ever hit me, or threw anything *at* me, or threatened to, nor did I ever feel (rationally) in danger of it. But .... it absolutely terrified me. It's like it tripped a switch in my head that made me instinctively want to shut up, agree, go along, do whatever it took to soothe him. (I imagine, in a *very* small way, what abused women feel.) I cannot even tell you how much that pissed me off; that I felt the need to "lessen" myself to "protect" myself in relation to my husband.

Absolutely none of this may be relevent to your situation. Mrs. T may be leveraging your anger as deflection from her own issues. Who knows?

It's just something to think about. From a woman's perspective, you guys are (usually) bigger and stronger. You (general you, not Thinker per se) vent your rage *knowing* and in control of where your intentions and limits are, with regard to physical harm. Women can't know that in the same way, not really really.

(Not meaning that it's unrecoverable, at all. I think you handled the aftermath honorably. But you still sound full of anger, and I just wanted to give you a friendly nudge of caution about where you allow it to take you.)

((((Thinker))))