Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[courts0818]

Hi Stuck,
You really get great advice on here. : ) There is so much to learn from those who have been there/done that and from those who are also fighting to keep their marriages together.

Like others, I agree that you should change up the house to fit YOUR needs and wants. Do what makes YOU feel comfortable. If YOUR master bedroom is filled with flowers or anything girly, you should "man it up." You need a place to chill and be comfortable. I don't know what you like, but I think it's a good idea to incorporate more of your style and your likes. Are there pictures up of you and your W? Last Thanksgiving when my H blew me off, I took down every picture of him and I.

It's so sad that your W, my H and all of the other walk aways don't realize that we aren't going to wait forever. You know you've been overly patient and tried everything you could to make this work. I'm not sure how often it happens, but how sad that by the time some walk aways decide they want their spouses back it's just too late. Too much time, pain, resentment and every other negative emotion has taken place. I hope your W wakes up before it's too late.

You know your situation best and only you know if you are comfortable dating. I guess you just have to listen to your heart on that one. Do I think it would get your W's attention...yes. Is it going to hurt or help - that IDK. What do you think? What do you think she would say/do/feel if she found out you were dating? You know it works for some.

As for me, I have not dated and I don't plan on it. It doesn't feel right for me. Even though we are separated and he's not living here, I don't want to date. But...I do not mind giving my H the impression that there could be someone else. Does he ever wonder if I am seeing someone? IDK...he throws a comment or two out there every once in awhile that makes me think maybe so. But then again, he seems to think and look through a heavy fog so I never really know what he's thinking.

My guess is that all the cleaning is a woman thing. I get in those modes too. Maybe she feels like she's getting things all ready and in order for you and your daughters. On one hand it sounds really irrational (as if cleaning is really going to help this situation at all), but on the other hand, she might feel like she's getting things prepared - or that's her rationale anyway. Kinda of like spring cleaning - you sort of feel like you are getting things organzied and prepared and all set to go.