LL and Alaskagal, I agree that I need to relax and remember that this is a transition time. Most of the R talks we have had throughout the seperation were not negative--mostly a lot of resolution and problem solving.
H is quick to admit that he's quite self-centered and used to lay the burden on me for everything. He admits that he used to think, "why is the house such a mess, why does SHE let it get like this?" instead of taking the initiative to do housework or pitching in to help. Same thing with finances, problems with the kids, and OUR R PROBLEMS!
I know he's really trying to change those patterns. I see him taking initiative and helping out in many ways, and I try to always remember to express appreciation.
I think that I'm going to suggest that we follow the MC's advice (since we pay good money for it LOL). I think I will also ask for what I want: for him to remember that this is HIS R too, and has an equal part in taking care of it. If his big worry is that we will stop communicating on an intimate level, he's got a great deal of contol over whether that happens or not!
Then I'll drop it and let him chew on it for awhile.
