I'm feeling a bit anxious lately. All the long-timers on this bb who have been living with thier spouses, rebuilding for at least a year are talking about leaving. Selfishly, I want them all to stick around because I'm just entering this phase and feel at a loss.
I'm not sure what the heck is going on right now. Before H moved back in, we talked about our fears. His big fear was that we would stop communicating again. In all of the time of being separated, I always had to initiate meaningful communication. Once he started talking, I usually had to ask a bunch of questions to get him to open up or to clarify what he was saying so I wouldn't make any assumptions.
For a while before he moved back home, and still now--it feels like we are going backwards. He still doesn't initiate any R talks, even though he says his big fear is that we will stop having them .
Now when I try to initiate a conversation beyond the day-to-day mundane stuff, he weaves and dodges and changes the topic or shuts me down. That is the OLD pattern. That is a big part of how we got in trouble in the first place!
I haven't been pushing the issue. I feel like we probably both need to settle in and feel some normalicy right now, but I'm afraid of this destructive pattern we both now we have.
I'm thinking about reminding what our MC said about setting aside scheduled time for R talks. I'm also thinking about suggesting that we read some R books together and talk about what we think. I know he hates the R books, but has read a few.
