@Puppy Dog Tails - You beat me to this, Kett. Methinks you doth protest too much, SP, and your devil-may-care attitude doesn't feel authentic to me. Maybe I'm wrong.
Okay. Cards on table. Sex is not a "thing" to me. I'm quite adept at separating the Emotional Connection from the Physical Connection. If all WAW had done was have an affair and confess it, that would have been recoverable-from. I "get" it -- bodies are bodies and sometimes bodies are pretty dam delectable.
Now then. She is trying to Move On from having Not (apparently) Moved On after Moving On.
For whatever reason -- the freedom, the thrill, the "change in life" she's been going through the past year or so, for whatever reason -- WAW has become sexualized. She's far more sexual -- far more open about her sexuality -- since D-Day than she ever was before. Her way of dress, her way of talk, her openness (in terms of gory details) about the A with Signore Schmuckatelli -- all represent a major shift in her, how can I say it?, understanding of herself as a sexual being. She wants sex. And, it would appear, she has begun to truly enjoy sex.
Now it also happens to be the case that, by her own declarations, she doesn't want to enjoy sex with me.
So okay. That sucks. Sucks to be me. But by the same token, she's divorcing me -- so in the grand scheme of things, her not wanting to bang me is rather small beer.
Now, as has always been the case -- and, one might point out, much to the oft-expressed frustration of Mr. PDT -- at the end of the day I simply want her to be happy. If Mrs. SPdom is not what makes her happy, then so be it. But I don't want the ending of Mrs. SPdom to be the ending of happiness in her life.
And that includes sexual happiness.
So. Yes. Yes indeed. All else being equal, I would prefer (a) to be boning my wife and (b) not to be getting a divorce. Okay. Ya got me.
AND. Yes. Yes indeed. If she can achieve some measure of sexual happiness -- short-lived though it may (or may not) be -- then I do indeed want that for her. She is, after all, the mother of my children. She is a woman I have known nearly my entire adult life. She is someone I considered a friend, a confidante, a partner, a pal, a lover, a buddy, a bane, a pain, and all the other things Significant Others are, for 22 years.
For what possible reason would I want her to be unhappy, unsatisfied, unwanted? Revenge? What possible good would it do me? Whether she is happy or unhappy, sexual or asexual, matters not a whit in terms of the Walk On My Path.
I would no more take secret pleasure in her torment, unhappiness, lack of connectedness to a man, than she would in mine with respect to a woman.
