Last resort technique, what to say?

[brknheart]

I have no choice but to do the last resort technique from DR. My W has said a week or so ago that I need to let go, move on, etc. Now that im doing this technique, what do I tell her if she says that she is glad im moving on with my life? Do I agree, say I still dont want to get a divorce, or say nothing?

[karen43]

Now that im doing this technique, what do I tell her if she says that she is glad im moving on with my life? Do I agree, say I still dont want to get a divorce, or say nothing?

I would probably say nothing; if you're doing LRT, you try not to get into R talks or telling the person you don't want a divorce, you love them, etc. And truthfully, if your R is broken to the point your W wants a divorce, then you need to move on and forward either to a new relationship with your W in the future or someone else. Work on yourself, 180s and GALing are very important part of the process.

[brknheart]

I see. She usually brings up the R stuff, especially things she is going to do in the future. Its like a kick in the gut each time she talks about herself alone without me. Despite that, I still love her and would like to create a new relationship with her. That said, I am trying to move on, doing more things with friends, looking at moving to another city, etc. If she brings up the D or R, Ill kindly ask her if we can just talk about something else. Thats if she ever calls me, I dont want to call her, she may think im still being needy.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Now that im doing this technique, what do I tell her if she says that she is glad im moving on with my life? Do I agree, say I still dont want to get a divorce, or say nothing?

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have decided that this is best for me."

[ClingingToHope]

Thats if she ever calls me, I dont want to call her, she may think im still being needy.

Don't call unless you absolutely have to.

[Steve McQueen]

Last resort technique, what to say?

if she ever calls me

say: "oh hey, I was just heading out the door can I call you later"

If she brings up the D or R

say: "you know, your right. This isnt working. I havent been happy in this marriage in a long time. I feel caustrophobic, controlled and havent felt cared for since I dont know when. Maybe its time we start seeing other people. But can we talk about this some other time. I was just heading out the door to meet a friend."

she talks about herself alone without me

say: "You need to get a life"

[brknheart]

Well, I haven't seen her in a week. She called the other day but had a quick question and the conversation wasn't very long. Is it healthy for me not to call her at all? Would an email be better, asking how her week has gone? I heard from a friend that she is actually upset with for another reason, the fact that I didnt let her stay at the house and me move out. Me not being a gentleman and letting her stay in the house. I really had nowhere to go, unless I rented an apartment. Plus, she is the one that left me.

[Steve McQueen]

she told you to move on. she does not want you asking her how her week went. respect her request. your friend who is acting as the in between, perchance female?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Plus, she is the one that left me.

Amen.

[brknheart]

she told you to move on. she does not want you asking her how her week went. respect her request. your friend who is acting as the in between, perchance female?

So I shouldnt try to be on good terms with her?