Ok, back up.....how did your stbxh all of the sudden decide to let your s go to the Tuesday activities?
My guess would be that he talked to his L about it. My L told me if he interferes with their long-term activities like on Tues. that she could set an emergency hearing and he wouldn't be able to have them on Tuesday. So that's the only reason I think why he would let them go. He's had to take off work early something like 4 of the last 5 weeks (and when he didn't pick up D9 the one he missed, I kept her that night). I can't see why he would risk his job ($89,000 a year) for what, a couple hundred bucks a month to possibly lower his child support?
One of my friends had an interesting idea. She said I should ask him how much $$ he wanted to walk away. B/c she thinks it's about the $$ for him. I told her I just can't do that at this point, b/c for example if I say no alimony or no child support at this point, I just can't pay the basic bills.
So then she says well you could give him his full retirement--currently I'm entitled to half and that drove X crazy when he found out. That's probably about $25,000 a year, so if I took it for 10-15 years, we're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars. If I gave that up, I'm betting he would let me have primary custody of the kids and do the every other weekend-one night thing (or less) that we were doing a couple months ago, plus he would be happy, he "won" I think. Although I would feel I won of course!!!
My main concern is I don't want to be setting myself up for a baglady, homeless sitch when I'm older, as education does not pay that much. But money isn't a big concern to me as much as the kids, so I think it might be a good idea. Thoughts?
Thanks everyone for sharing about the subbing. I know subbing is not as good as a regular gig, but eventually I may have to if $$ gets worse after the D or if I don't get a full-time job maybe eventually. Right now, I'm setting up that program at my church though so I'm going to be busy with that the next few weeks (and observing at some programs around here), then I don't want to do it the period right around my D, just in case I'm depressed or something, b/c I def. wouldn't want to give anybody a bad impression or anything. But I prob. will keep it as a possibility in the future if I need to....
