Dont you see though that you are STILL playing tit for tat?
You didnt scold or preach until you reached your boiling point of being attacked. That is not the way to respond. It pours massive amounts of gas on a fire that is already burning out of control.
If you are tired of being verbally attacked by your W tell her in a polite and firm fashion: "W, I feel this conversation is not productive and we have veered way off the topic at hand. Do avoid further conflict and the exchange of words that are disrespectul and damaging as co-parents I need to end this call. Goodnight".
Your patterns are very predictable. She attacks and you attack back. You can walk away right or happy? Which is better? In the scenario you described walking away HAPPY with YOURSELF for not indulging her w/the reaction she expected would have been the best thing to do.
You are addicted to the drama it seems. As long as their is drama you get to have exchanges with your W. Its a sh*tty way to live and function. Eventually you will tire of it and realize no contact other than the kids is better than drama and nonesense.
You cant control what she says but you CAN control how you react to it.
