You don't know she filed, or what she's after, until you see the papers. You don't have to pay for the divorce until the court says you do. Your D is POed at you for booting her friends and your WAS is blaming you for being the parent she isn't. Her attorney would not call you.
Breathe. Do nothing. Wait. Breathe.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
I am sorry to hear what happened. I so want to point out....as much as it hurts...you are handling it much better than you would have three weeks ago. Find the positive in a negative situation...and that is a huge positive my friend....just huge.
Hopefully others will chime in with their thoughts, but mine are such. You have two paths to follow at the same time.
1)-Continue to DB and improve yourself....everyday it is evident how much stronger you are getting
2)-Begin to work on the legal aspects of your divorce....you need to protect yourself. If your wife decides to try and smear you across the street....you need to be ready to protect yourself.
Both can be done at the same time....just don't let yourself slip into her games.
You must now treat this possible divorce as business and separate that side of it from the personal side.
This is tough, I won't sugarcoat it but it can be done. You need to look out for yourself but at the same time not get caught up in the emotional war that often occurs.
In a lot of situations...the WAS is going to find every bit of dirt she can to make themselves look like a victim and the spouse as a bad person. So smearing them! Sometimes it is real stuff (I.E. a spouse financially cutting the other off or physical abuse) and other times it is perceived harm that is not fact (I.E. Ayk paid off the car in an attempt to control me). There are plenty of examples of WAS's coming up with completely crazy accusations during divorce (I.E. a WAS bringing up a disorderly conduct charge 12 years in the past against the LBS's father...so the LBS might be unfit to see his children)...crud like that.
Divorce is business and that is how you will need to face it. Purely business...you won't know what she is going to accuse you of or even if she will! In either case you need to be prepared.
You still DB...but now you have two paths to walk at the same time.
My goal is to still be married or get remarried when she is thru this.
That's why I was asking,she is bound and determined to be free of me.
But she did have a good life.
When this divorce is final, but I've thrived, I've been nice, I've been great to my kids, I've been a better me.
If I'm patient like the 2-5yr deal, and she comes thru this, the chances are pretty good someone will realize the grass isn't greener on the otherside at some point don't they?
