Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Coach]

What I am angry about:
- I am angry that she uses me as a scapegoat for her unhappiness
- I am angry that she refuses to take responsibility for or even to think about her own issues and her own role in the R.
- I am angry that she dismisses my feelings, etc.
- I am angry that when I focus on myself and make improvements, she uses these merely as proof that things were wrong and that it was my fault.
- I am angry that she refuses to do any work on the M, sabotaging any effort (as she did at Retro, etc)
- I am angry that she doesn't fight fair
- I am angry that she uses a circular argument to justify her position: I don't have feelings for you, therefore I don't want to have feelings for you, therefore I don't let myself have fun when I am with you and refuse to establish any sort of connection, therefore we never have fun and have no sort of connection, therefore I have no feelings for you.
- I am angry that she refuses to let go of the distant past - continuously going back to the way things were in the first years of our M.
- I am angry that she keeps score, recording debits in the negative column while noting ANYTHING positive about me or the R.
- I am angry that she refuses to acknowledge that I help her or support her in any way.

Tweak it:

I feel angry when you _______________. Anger is a feeling not a character trait or desription of who you are. Feelings are not permanent. There are certain behaviors your wife does that anger you. It is worth bringing up. You can handle it.