Also, W's "what I'd like to take w/ me when I move out" list was more than fair, IMO...no major appliances, beds, couches, sofas, etc. Nothing on there that would require me to immediately go out & purchase a replacement in order to live.
E, the reason for firewalling your family's finances is because wayward spouses tend to be all over the road emotionally, and driven by a HUGE sense of entitlement. It is infrequent, but NOT rare, that they will run up a joint credit card and/or drain a family's funds after confrontation, exposure, OM/OW putting pressure on them, or even just on an entitled whim. Her brain is awash with PEAs and she's "in the fog" right now, but even more importantly you're protecting yourself against a possible FUTURE mood and action of hers.
Your call -- I've said my peace. I did it, never needed it, but would do it again. While she never drained our accounts, my wife did some things that I NEVER would have expected her to, including trying to pawn jewelry I had given to her as gifts, and borrowing her legal retainer FROM HER BOYFRIEND.
