I'm so torn. If I initiate this convo, there's a good chance it pushes her out the door if she is having 2nd thoughts.
I'll try to have a talk w/ her tonight. It's not going to be easy.
Trust your instincts. Has she taken out a bunch of money? If she hasn't I wouldn't push it until you are ready.
When you do talk, if she balks, do not make some grand speech about protecting yourself. I'm taking a marriage rebuilders class -- by myself -- and one section was on communication.
If she gets upset about the financial steps you've taken, ask her why she is upset. Let her talk. Don't use it as a chance to make your own points. That will push her out the door.
Defensiveness kills more marriages than infidelity.
With all due respect, I couldn't disagree more. "If she hasn't taken out a bunch of money"??? What, he should wait until the horses are out, and THEN lock the barn door?
Seeking immediate legal advice, firewalling your finances, and getting medically tested if you've had unprotected sex with a spouse found to be wayward, are all STANDARD precautions.
No grand speeches -- just a calm, simple, "I'm doing what I feel is right," that's all.
