Magnificent

[mishka422]

The $27.50 is not part of the CS, right CTH? It's was on top of the amount to cover his portion of the loan.

She's barely making it with my child support.

And that is your problem because?????? She chose this. She did this to herself. Not your problem. If she has to change her lifestyle because of her own choices she will just have to do that. No one comes out of a D with their finances like they were. Ummm...hellllooooooo....you just dropped from two incomes to one. That works because??

Like I said CTH, STOP being so flexible. She needs to see the reality of her choices. You aren't allowing that to happen. She is using you and expecting you to be the one she can always fall back on. Nope. Not allowed. Not anymore.

Yes, easy for me to say, not so easy to put into practice.

I've been an enabler my entire adult life and my entire M. I'm learning (through therapy) how to put myself first and stop giving in to my xh's manipulative ways. You need to do the same. The first step? Fight your natural instinct to 'fix' everything.

Your D10 was sick. That was unacceptable of your w to leave her home alone. 10 is really too young to be left for more than an hour alone. I don't know what the laws in IL are regarding that, but I can tell you that in GA the law says no child under the age of 12 can be left home alone for more than 1 hour. What could you have done in that situation? You had already done it. You left work to take care of her. The next day was W's responsibility and she blew it. Strike 1! Give her two more strikes and you're probably going to have to step up with legal action. Of course, you need to talk to her about it first.

The next time she asks you to do something outside of your normal schedule tell her no. Do not think of it as harmful to the kids or that you aren't 'being there' for them. That is not right. You have a life, you don't have to drop everything to be at her beck and call anymore. This is not about the kids at all, this is about her control over you. She knows what button to push and it's the 'kid' button. She knows full well you will drop everything, rearrange your life, your work, everything to do for them. STOP! IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM! Get it?