I'll never know what his problem was...I kept beating myself up saying what did I do wrong in this marriage?! I have finally made peace with knowing that I will never know what happened...sometimes the answer in life is "just because".
How long did you actually take to try and understand his problems?
Originally Posted By: Hopeful in VA
I met someone else 4 days after he told me he wanted to be separated at the end of July.
Ah...I see. Not very long at all.
You took HIS issues as a personal attack against. You failed to truely understand that this super shitty rollercoaster ride was the only way for him to deal with his past. Which btw he had no control over. This was how he was raised. I'm in no way making excuses for his poor behavior, nor am I passing judgement on you for the way you feel. Simply stating the obvious with a little help from you.
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Everyone will think I'm crazy, but I'm really happy. New guy is 24 - yep I'm officially a cougar! We are still seeing each other & have a great time together. He made me remember what I felt like before I got married.
No...I don't think your crazy at all. I agree, it would be wonderful to return to the age of 24. Unfortunately this is impossible. These feelings are fleeting at best.
Careful.....We are in charge of our feelings. We ALLOW others to "make" us feel a certain way. See the pattern yet? You also allowed your H's issues to "make" you feel the opposite way.
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When I was a free spirit & took risks & chances. Love it.
Ahh yes, the good old days. I loved'em. The excitement, the risks, the chances, hell yeah they were great!! I still like a bit of risk as well, however my perspective seemed to change everytime I would look at my two beautiful children and would come to the realization that those two little angels depend on me each and every day. What would happen to THEM if God forbid something were to happen to me while I was out trying to be young and free again?
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I just look at it as H's loss!
Well you may be correct, but there are a couple of little ones who will be suffering a pretty big loss as well.
You took your H's issues personal. You failed to take the time to truely understand this.
I'm sure what I have said will most likely pisss you off. That really is not what I am intending to do. How can you say that you truly gave this a go when you met someone four freakin days after you got the bomb?
I have seen this scenario play out many many times and I'm willing to bet almost anything that your feelings about all of this will change in time after the newness wears off. Sounds to me like....for the moment, you have succeeded in fighting fire with fire.
Wishing you the best for you and your children. Take care.
