Question

[awest1217]

I agree with the stop spying. I have tried so many times to do that, and it is my safety mechanism plus my fear coming out. I am not allowing him to go to the game. He knows I don't like the idea, but I can't control him, and if I give him an ultimatum he will choose her, which i know means he is not committed to us, but at the same time I don't want to jump to conclusions.

I left him a message saying I was sorry and letting my emotions get in the way, and he said thank you for the apology. I know I can't pursue, but I don't realize the little subtlties of when I am. For example, this weekend is sweetest day and i want to buy him a card and just leave it where he sleeps so he gets it when he gets home from the game, but I know I shouldn't because that is pursuing.

I need to somehow get back to focusing on me while still maintaining my relationship. It is all new and I have have to relearn a lot because it is different with him here.