Hope and heartache

[awest1217]

Hope everything went well with your surgery and you are resting.

[ClingingToHope]

Yes. Things are fine, although I will say I'm in way more pain than I thought I would be. It's amazing, your entire body is tied to your core muscles. It hurts to laugh or turn my head too quickly.

Percocet is a wonder drug.

Nurses at the hospital kept asking if anyone was with me today and who would be picking me up. One looked at chart, noticed my W's insurance was covering the surgery and asked if we should call her when I was out of surgery.

No. I smiled at her. We're separated. A co-worker is picking me up.

That's the only downer today. Called the girls and said I was in too much pain to stop by. I still plan on having them for the weekend, but if we go out in public there's no way I can catch them if they take off.

Called a couple of friends, including a high school classmate who has been helping me get through my situation -- she was divorced 10 years ago -- and who may go through it again. In her case, the husband is trying to make changes. She says she lost her trust in him and doesn't know if he can rebuild it.

That's where we left it. I wanted to tell her if he's trying she should give him a chance. People deserve second chances if they are willing to work at it.

And no call from W today.

[mishka422]

Good God! The woman knows you had surgery and she doesn't even call? Good grief!

Sorry, that pisses me off. I do have to say that even if my xh had surgery and I knew about it I would call him to make sure he was ok. He is the father of my son after all.

Ok, again, sorry. That just seems so callous and completely unfeeling of her.

I'm glad you are doing ok. You are definitely right, PERCOCET IS MAGIC CANDY!!!! At least that's what I once called it while flying high on it after surgery.

Sleep well and please be careful with the hs classmate. That friendship could lead to a whole buch of complication that neither one of need right now.

[ClingingToHope]

Yes. That's the person I'm dealing with now. The ice queen.

Here's a question. I saw tonight W paid off a short-term loan we took out when we were still living together. She probably got it from her 401(k) thanks to help from her mom.

First, I find it interesting because she said last week she didn't have $1,200 for a retainer to get divorced and the loan's balance was $1,224.

Second, and here, finally, is the question. In our unofficial child support agreement, I was paying her an additional $27.50 a paycheck for that loan. That equaled $55 a month for a $106 payment.

Do I just put $25 less in next week's transfer, write her a note -- she hasn't given me her new email address -- saying I'm going to put $25 less a check in the transfer now that the loan is paid off, send her a text or give her less without saying anything?

I do not like talking money with W.

[ClingingToHope]

Just had a thought. The loan she paid off is called a Crazy Eight loan through our credit union. $1,800 paid off over 18 months at 8 percent interest. We've gotten several over the years to kind of bridge the gap when things got tight.

It's insanely easy to get the loan. I'm wondering if she didn't pay off the loan so that she could just take out another one for the retainer?

Since I still have online access, I'll be able to see it coming.

[ClingingToHope]

The Percocet is playing tricks on my mind. She did not pay off the loan. Paranoia talking.

[mishka422]

Doesn't really matter why she paid it off. She did it, that's all that matters. The only question is the $27.50 amount. Don't send it to her. She paid off the loan knowing you have access to it so it shouldn't come as a surprise to her that you aren't willing to pay on a loan that no longer exists.

Do you write a check each week? If so, just attach a note to it saying you were going over financials while reorganizing your budget (then it won't look like you were checking up on it) and saw that the loan you had both taken out was paid off. Congratulate her on it and leave it at that.

I understand not liking to talk money with her. Money is a major issue with most couples, but when separated it's MUCH worse.

How are you feeling today?

[mishka422]

Ahhhh...the Percocet...not a good idea to be looking at financials when high as a kite!

[ClingingToHope]

I'm good enough to get some work done. And have the kids over for the next four days -- although I'll have to move slooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyyyyy.

What part of Georgia do you live in Mishka? I have a couple of friends down there.

[mishka422]

Just south of Atlanta (about 30 miles) in Peachtree City.