Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Hope4us]

Well, my note from this morning did not have any noticeable negative affect. Tonight was pleasant - nothing out of the ordinary. W was talkative. It still brings reality home when she calls me by my first name - we always called each other babe/sweetie/honey. I know, what else is she supposed to call me.

I did not bring up the sleeping arrangements. I would like to push a little more into her space and see what happens. When the time is right to bring up the sleeping arrangements, I will know it. Not feeling a rush to do it now.

So, what did I learn from today? My W is not running away from me. I do not believe D is the only option she sees right now. Question is, what is she willing to do about the non-D option.

I have started looking into Retrovaille. The next one would be January. I think we should be ready for that by then. We really are getting along better than I ever remember. No tension. Lots of joking and exchanged smiles. Yet there's still that elephant in the room no one's talking about.

No negative noticeable affect? EXCELLENT. What's that tell you? Slowly, oh so slowly, continue this stuff. Don't push it. But ramp it up slowly. Like you mentioned, begin invading her space slowly but surely.

One good way I started making contact with my W was I would look for opportunities where she would be standing in a position where I could think of a reason to have to get by her and when I did, I'd lightly put my hand on her hip, as if I was saying "I need to get past you and don't want to bump you so I'm putting my hand on your hip". Like at the kitchen counter when she was doing dishes and I'd say I had a headache and go to grab the tylenol we keep on the window sill over the sink. Or when she was getting ready for work and I had to go into the walk in closet to get clothes and she was kind of in the way at the vanity, but not really, I'd make sure I lightly put a hand on her hip as I slid by her. Another thing I would do is make sure I went to bed before her and when I was walking by to head to the bedroom I would tell her goodnight and reach down and give her shoulder a squeeze and then head to bed. If she tenses up, don't do it for a while. If she doesn't tense up, then continue doing that every few days.

You're getting there GIMA, trust me. I was in that same elephant in the room place for a long time, but from what you're saying, she's more comfortable around you and enjoys your time together.

Right now I would suspect your W is in conflict with herself. 6 months ago she was sure she wanted a D, but now she can't reconcile that with how things are with you. You just have to give her time to figure it out on her own.

Keep up the good work. You're getting there.