Grace O-guy fighting over a bath, yup I wouldn`t have believed it either!
And, yes, TIF, it can be hard not to say something mean but I know that would only rebound back on me so I don`t go there!
Main thing, Cat, is that I was okay after it. I hate the unpredictable nature of these confrontations. I never seek them out and I am actively avoiding H these days, so that part is pretty wearing.
Knowing that I`m not actually the source of his anger Jeff does help me deal with it. I do feel sorry for him. He is in deep deep pain and hasn`t the wherewithall to dig himself out of that.And yes, he has a deep seated need to see me suffer.
Yesterday I was tired-it is very wearing-but I really try hard not to let him see that. He`ll be in for the kill if he sees me vulnerable. H was gone yesterday evening with S12 so I took that time to catch up on housework, on myself and went for a walk on the beach with D9. Meditation and early night last night so I`m on top of the world today.
Yes, SR, I really do see that I`ll have a new lease on life when H goes. The tension of living like this is energy sapping.
Its a gift too though.
This crisis has forced me to be a better person, better Mum, better friend. I`ve learnt so much else from it too so I can`t-well, I shouldn`t!-complain.
I do wonder though where I`d be if I hadn`t DBed.This place-and you people-have really taken me to this better place in myself. Detaching from H is the best thing I`ve done. Learning to be calm is a treasure I`ll have forever.
It means so much to me to read all your posts and hear you shouting from the sidelines. Thank you!
