I've read your posts and I love the UserID name that you've picked.
Kudos to you for getting out and going dark. In your situation you really need to.
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Went Dark, What Now? (other than GAL)
Stay Dark.
As dark as dark can be. GAL and the passage of time will ease the pain that you are going through. In my case I went totally pitch black on my wife for 25 days. Everyone's experience is different but I found after 3 weeks I was beginning to feel better and to imagine a life without my W in a positive way. She tried to connect with me all of that time but I answered none of her communication.
I would suggest deleting your wife from your Facebook account altogether. I did with mine, and I deleted her number from my mobile phone.
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Is there any "art" or "technique" to going dark?
No.
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Do I just GAL and that's it, leaving everything up to her?
Yes.
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What tends to work for people? I am at peace with just about any outcome in which we're both safe and healthy
Going dark is for you. It's not a technique or a ploy to get her back, it's to preserve your sanity and mental health. This affair that she's in has about a 99% chance of ending; if you've been good to her and DBed religiously as your post indicates she will try to reconnect with you once it's over if she isn't already.
Please, please, please do not let her move back in with you while OM is still in the picture. I made the dreadful mistake of not being strict enough with my W last year. Even though we live in Australia and OM lives in England, life with her was Hell whilst she was in contact with OM, and in hindsight I would never allow this again.
Good luck. You have my support.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
