Really wanting HELP!

[undrdg]

ok cool. check my link.

[sandi2]

What do you mean by a different perspective? Can you tell me something about when you were here before?

[Distracted1978]

I was being terrible. I was in the "it's as much his fault as it is mine!" stage. I was trying to work things out w/ him but couldn't handle my own emotionns, much less his. Therefore, I messed it up b/c I tried to bury what had happened instead of talking about it.

Be warned if you decide to read ~ I was extremely petty....

[sandi2]

Laid it on me!

[sandi2]

How are you doing today, Distracted? I just wanted you to know that I am here for you.

[Distracted1978]

Thank you Sandi! I'm not getting anywhere.... or at least that's how I feel. today is killing me, but surely tomorrow will be better. I'm om my to Ky from Sc to attend my family reunion that is tomorrow. I wish he would have came but I don't blame him after what I've put him though

[sandi2]

I beat myself up for such a long time! I wonder if we ever reach a place that we "totally" forgive ourselves for the pain we caused?

[Distracted1978]

I don't know that I can, honestly. I'm sure I'll settle someday, but not today.

[undrdg]

hang in there distracted. I know how you feel. all you can do is work on yourself.
Be friendly to him.
You are worth more than you think.
YOu are a valuable human being.

[MTNspirit]

I honestly don't know what happened. OM pursued me. I was really happy, had just had a baby, & life was on track. I've always had an issue with post-pardum depression so I've thought that was it....

This may sound harsh, but I'm offering it as a suggestion to help you, so know that it comes from a place of love.

The above quote doesn't cut it for me. You may have been pursued, but you also didn't stop the A from occurring. The "it just happened" thing isn't living in reality. Things don't just happen, but sometimes it takes a lot of hard work, soul-searching, and facing fears that we'd rather not to get to the heart of things. For example, I didn't "just happen" to become 265lbs, nor did I just happen to cut back down to 220lbs (and counting ). In essence saying, "I don't know what happened" is a form of saying that an external force controlled your life. My guess would be that you will find better results and better peace if you can get beyond the "I don't know" to an understanding of the dynamics and mindset that allowed this to happen, even if a lot of it occurred in a sub-conscious place.