Had a bad day today at work. I wanted to tell her how crappy I felt. Instead i just left her house early. I didn't even hug her. I just hugged and kissed my kid and said later to her. She didn't even skip a beat.
I feel sullen today. LIke the weight of the world is on me. I have no one to talk to or nobody to unburden myself.
I thought i could fake it. But no. I put a flower on my wife's pillow hoping she would see it and maybe get that warm smile and kiss that usually accompanies such a gesture.
That didn't happen. She didn't see the flower. She probably hasn't seen it yet. Not her fault but still i yearn for her embrace.
I texted her that i left early because I needed her today but didn't know if i could or should lean on her in times like these. She absolutely leans on me when the crap flies on her end.
She texted back sorry and that i can talk to her about anything. anything except the relationship, whats bugging me, or my feelings in general, but really anything after that.
I guess the weather would have been an appropriate topic of discussion had I give two monkey asses about it.
Reality is hitting me slowly but surely that no matter what i do, this effing divorce is unavoidable.
