Thank you for the advice. I do know for 99.99% sure that the OW husband will not be able to stop the A. This is not a affair where the light will extinquish it. They think they are in love, they do not want to be with their spouses or continue their marriages. The OW (and my H) in their slightly askew brains decided it would be less hurtful to let us-their spouses down slowly in steps. ( We are talking months even 1 1/2 years of planning and slowsteps) First just tell them you are unhappy,then tell them their/our efforts to change arent working, that you dont feel love but let them keep trying new activities, planning dates. weight loss,new sex techniques and more but it is "too late" ,then finally tell them you are moving out to "think things over and get your head straight" while you get names of mediators on side. The OW would never choose her H over mine--they work together and text each other 20-30 times a day like teenagers.Telling her H will only remove what they consider the last impediment to their being together sooner (letting him down easily and letting him think it is not about another person)It will definitely speed up divorce filings on both sides.
Boy Puppy--I have copied and printed off what you said. Icannot wait for the day when I can say that.It rings with such truth and light. However, I have this slight hope that if I can delay the divorce H may grow tired of her. Had your wife moved out--or was she still trying to have her cake and eat it too? It seems so different when H has already shown by moving out that he doesn't care about saving M at all. IIf I confront him now--it will really take him off the hook--he doesn't have to tell people or feel bad anymore--I have done all the work for him. Plus I need some time to contact a lawyer and find out what I need to do if it does come out and he stops paying on the house etc.It doenst feel quite right but Ithink it is about timing. Bravo for you for saying that to her.
