Well, it went as good as it could. It was actually fun, it was good to see my W smile, and I smiled too.
My W did come back over to tuck the kids in.
When she was leaving, I thanked her. She said it was nice. I probably did something wrong here, but I don't regret it.
I told her I missed her and it was good to see her today. She said she is still very sad about what happened and said that she gets angry when she thinks about what we are losing. She said when she leaves she misses the kids and the house, but it stops there.
She went on to say these words...and I am hanging on them, because I am not sure if they are positive or not.
She said "I am trying to be friends, and I want to, but I don't think I could ever love you again, at least not like I did."
Okay, so, on the surface, that sounds bad. However, She didn't say she couldn't love me or wouldn't love me. She said she didn't think she could love me. That seems less harsh.
Honestly, after 6 weeks of this, I somehow find that encouraging.
The for sale sign for our house is in the garage. She told our D that she thought she might be able to keep the house (there is no way on gods green earth either of us could on our own). Tonight I asked her if there was anything I could do this week to help with the sale of the house. She started to cry and said that she tried to put the sign in the yard, but couldn't get it in the ground (total BS). She said she took it as a sign. I told her I couldn't put it up either. She cried and said she had to leave.
I didn't beg, ask her to change her mind, etc... I didn't even cry, but I am sure I looked sad. I stayed very calm, even when she said she didn't love me though inside I was crushed.
Outside she looked up at the house and started to cry again. Then she cleared her throat and got business like and said the kids needed to have lights out at 9:00, etc.. House-keeping stuff.
Anyone give me some outside perspective on all of this? Is this a good thing? Am I being overly optimistic? Am I being an idiot?
I see nothing in her words to suggest anything but divorce. However, her actions aren't the same.
When people say this process can be tough, there is no way anyone who hasn't gone through it can possibly understand.
Sandi, I know you were in my wife's shoes. Tell me what you think.
