Quote: just cringe when I see people on these bbs say thier partners say they still love them, but have come to the conclusion that they simply aren't "compatable". I heard the same from Wolfie not that long ago, before he understood the concept of phases and cycles in a long-term R.
Hi Tal, So good to hear this--the other night, my H and I were talking on the phone (all details on my thread)--but he said our main problem was that he didn't feel we were compatible. ARGH!!!!!!! I'm not sure I want him to come home anymore--but the small part of me that thinks I do, is thankful to hear "you heard it too". The jury is still out on how I feel about the situation--and in all honesty I think I DB much better if I decide that I am done with him--so guess a little reverse psych on myself to follow through! Seems in the past I did some of my best DBing without even trying because I just took care of me instead!
The only other feedback that H gave me that night too was that my two main areas of problems were communication and sexuality--this disturbs me--as I tried to point out to him that communication is a 2 way street and that is something easily worked out with 2 people working together at the common goal of better communication. As for my sexuality issue--I've come to terms with the fact that I don't have a problem with sexuality in general--it was my sexuality when with him--I've come to realize that him verbalizing his distaste with my past weight problem and how I could always be 120 pounds over and over again made me extremely subconscious around him and not feel good about myself--even after losing 60 pounds, I'm at a comfortable, hot looking 131 pounds and that's still not good enough for him. In fact, the way I lost weight wasn't acceptable to him, because it wasn't HIS way. He waited and waited for me to fail 4 years ago with weight watchers--but I proved him wrong--lost the weight, maintained it and teach classes at the gym (10 per week!)--so I don't have the problem--HE has the problem!!!!! I finally figured it out!!! I just have not told him all this yet....
Glad things are going well with you and Wolfie! Love the new title to your thread!! Ouch on the finger--years ago (20 to be exact)-when I was Senior in HS, we were making costumes for Freshman initiaion and I was cutting felt and sliced my fingertip too--still have the scar-I refused to go to the hospital too and it throbbed for 2 weeks!!--Take care of it!!!
