I am advocating leaving a spouse that is grossly disrespectful of you, your well-being and your life and the time you have in this life.
This is very tricky. My H thinks that is what he did but in reality, he wasn't holding up his end and "felt" unappreciated, disrespected etc. But the fact that he felt that doesn't make it true or represent his contribution to what was happening. It is easy to stomp your feet and scream "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" But, what is your part?
Once the person leaves, this gets even trickier cuz there is no safety especially when OP are involved. I mean why should I be looking at my part while he's off boinking someone else? But there are changes I need to make and they are not limited to setting boundaries. I think this may apply to you too Rob. There are changes that would have benefited your M or any R that are softer and more revealing and scary changes. How do we make those changes and maintain boundaries? It is tough.
SP- there is no way you get the quantity of information you get without engaging with her. Any chance you want the info? I know that in my case, sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me and I want to know.
