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We are currently in limbo, first it was by my wife's design, now it's by my own


We're not in limbo in SPLand, but separation and movement towards divorce were first my wife's idea and are now mine.

I'm not being disrespected, at least not in the sense of "taking it." That power shift took place long ago. She continues to probe and prod -- she's like the Viet Cong -- but has no power to mount a full-scale offensive.

I did all the bad stuff -- groveling and begging and "I'll-change-for-youing"-- and then stopped. I started divorce-busting and, at some point, that morphed into solo living. And that's where I am now.

I'm just fascinated, in a laboratory, intellectual kind of way, with how readily WAW can sustain her WAWly ways. I'd think that it would get tiring. But no, it seems to be some kind of perpetual WAW motion machine.

But I don't take her nonsense, I don't up the ante (anymore). I do MNR -- Minimum Necessary Response -- therapy on her. She doesn't like it -- that's obvious from some of her emails -- which means my reactions are not what she wants. She's clearly hoping for more words, so that she can pick at them and attack them. "Ohh, so NOW you say X....." Instead she gets bullet points without even pronouns.

Hey -- she's living her SiS dream, and I think that's swell. She used to say, "No one will ever love me like you did." I hope she's wrong -- I hope someone loves her better than I did.

Could that be me? Maybe. Maybe not.

Meanwhile, Miss Someone and I are getting closer as people, enjoying each other's company, learning more about each other. Is it an EA/PA scenario? I suppose so, if you want to be technical about it. WAW told me to go find someone. I did. So what's the beef?

So who knows what will happen? For me the Main, the Most Important, the Biggest, the Greatest Thing is that I'm no longer worried about it.

It's not the end of the world; it's just divorce. Nothing left but casual conversations.
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And casual conversations, how they bore me.
Yeah they go on and on endlessly.
No matter what I say,
you'll ignore me anyway;
I might as talk in my sleep,
(I could weep).

You try to make me feel so small,
until there's nothing left at all.
Why go on, just hoping that we'll get along?

There's no communication left between us,
but is it me or you who's to blame?
There's nothing I can do,
yes you're fading out of view.
Don't know if I feel joy or pain,
(it's such a shame).

And now it seems it's all been said;
If you must leave then go ahead.
Should feel sad,
but I really believe that I'm glad.