GIMA- You're right. Our marriage is not a normal happy marriage at this point. Thanks for the reminder.
I am sure it's the frustration talking. The detached feeling comes and goes. The times of sleeping together, hugging and kissing make it very hard for me to maintain it though.
I read the DR book in July. The bomb was Oct 17 '08. Even though we've been going through this for a year I guess I've only ben DBing for 3 or 4 months.
I'm not ready to give up. I decided in the beginning that love was a decision and I've made my decision. I'm just ventiing I guess.
Thanks for making me think.
Focusing on the positives...I got to snuggle and sleep with my W only a week and a half ago. Can't get much more positive than that!
My W and I have not slept in the same bed since the bomb, so I can only imagine how confusing that must be for you. If you cannot do that without developing expectations (and I don't know that I could), you may have to put your foot down on that until you are at a place where you can handle it.
It also strikes me that your W is cake eating - she gets to cling to her decision to D, but she gets to keep you when SHE wants you. It's not a two way street right now, and it should be.
While your bomb was about a year ago, realistically, you've only been at this with DB for about the same amount of time as me. Just keep that in mind when you set your goals and monitor your progress.
I know it's not easy, but you can do it. Sounds like tonight or sometime soon would be a good time to ramp up your GAL'ing.
