Long story short. Tom and Debra story is my own. Wife always enjoyed sex, but refused so long after 1st dd was born 13+ years ago. I was right away aware and brought it up with responses from her that it was my problem. Fights about the lack of sex started very quick in our marriage from 3-6 weeks apart. This has been going on for 13+ years.
We counselled with 5 counselors, Willard Harley, but she was adamant that I do a list of things, which I eventually did do all of them. Now there is nothing on the list and she is out of excuses. I feel like I've become some sort of freak husband that can and does all things. Last fall she noticed and realized our sex life was lacking, but I think it was because she realized I finally stopped initiating. Can you believe I still did after this long?
She has acknowledged her failure to care for my desire of her and the pain she caused. I was and still am on the verge of affair if the opportunity some how presented itself. It won't happen because I no longer do anything apart from exercise. She took away hunting, fishing, friends, family. I don't want to paint her too bad as she love my family but didn't like when my dad went on an annual hunting trip or our annual fishing trip. Ugh, she asked me to take my son hunting, I said, "sweet heart I can go and spend 3k and we can go, but it takes years of going to accumulate the stuff to go, and you put a stop to that 10 years ago." I said it nicely and could see the remorse I brought about in her. It's like she's started having all these epiphanies for the last year and it all smacks of how she's treated me for that long. It truly pains her to see how I must have been hurt by her selfishness.
My sexual prime came and went and she is so sorry for not being there and supporting me (I get a lump in my throat thinking of it). My libido is not what it was, maybe from lack of use and rejection, I'm healthy 37 that exercises a lot and eat right, sleep enough. She is allowing more sex, but here's the delima that I need help with.
I feel like it's too little too late, and I'm afraid the cycle of sex (that should be enough for a while) no sex then fight will happen at anytime again and I'll loose my love for her forever.
