Cutters story

[chatterbug]

Hi Here is my story.

BS here. 39 and WAS is 36. Together 13 years, Married 10 years and no kids.

Marriage : A very loving marriage up to June this year. We have had problems communicating the past few years on our goals and with house responsiblilities. WAS got a few promotions and we stopped spending quality time together. Which I complained about and it became an issue. And less and less time together. I countered by making nice dinners and just started to give up after awhile. I became depressed over the whole issue and just turned into myself. ( Turned to red wine and mopping ) We would still have great days together but they became less and less.

Enter OM : Boss at work. Problems with M at home. 3 children. WAS explained time together as mentoring for new position. Things went down hill in July. I watched myself being replaced and just shut down. I also injured myself at that time and could not do any work around the house. So the house fell apart. Which triggered a mini MLC in myself.

Well as I was dealing with all this the EA took off and then the PA happened 3 weeks before D-DAY. I wrote a 6 page letter 3 days before the ILYBNILWY speach. In this letter I explained how everything was falling apart and that I was falling apart and needed her help and how she was not there for me in my time of need. WAS has had mood swings through out marriage and I have always stood by. We also had children issues and tried invetro but it did not work. It broke my heart and I felt like I was a failure to my wife and could not watch her ever go through that pain again. We could not really talk about this issue as I just locked it away. The settings were all in place for this to happen.

D-Day came 2 weeks after the PA started. I found out rather easy as WAS was leaving hints and also had one week of just texting all hours of the day and night. So it was easy to find out. I read emails detailing it as well and a diary that was started on the day of the PA. The diary was very very foggy. Felt like I was reading a 15 year olds diary.

Well D-Day I did not know about all this DB'ing stuff and just lost it. Not screaming lost it. As I do not scream. I stated I wanted a D and said we cannot stay together and wanted her out of the house by the 15th of the next month. I got the fog answers of 'Soulmates' ,,, etc.... I have no idea what I did over the next 2 days as I just fell apart. But I decided to expose.
Exposure was spread out. But within 2 weeks. Exposure was limited to Immediate family both sides and close friends.

I started to Plan A. Which was make lunches and dinners and be supportive and try to not talk about the affair. But it did come up quite a bit. We stepped into seperation papers and had a pint afterwards. This was the first time I had it rubbed in my face. I just bit my tongue. And set a boundry that it should not be shoved in my face.

So I started to GAL.
Which was to increase exercising. Run all the time. Repairing my knee so it has really helped.
GAL caused tit for tat reactions from WAS. I felt I was dealing with a high school girl not a grown woman. And yes it hurt but I did not blow up and kept my cool.
Until one night I went out for dinner with a friend. I knew that the OM was out of the country for 30 days on a business trip.