Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Journaling:

Last night things fell apart a bit...maybe just another bend on the rollercoaster ride.

H was bored and in kind of bad mood. H says he doesn't know how to live with me. I asked him what he meant. He said there isn't anything to talk about...he doesn't like the new townhome... I (stupidly) shared that when H says things like that I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall and think he'll leave again...H said if I felt that way then maybe he should leave b/c he'll never convince me that he won't... I said there are things he could do that would help(like not threatening to leave!)...

So I did a 180 and asked H if he'd like some tea and he said 'that would be nice".. I gave him some tea and a small note thanking him(words of affirmation) for a few things he'd done lately. H saw the note and flipped out(before reading it).

I left and went upstairs. When H came up later he offered to show me some exercises I'd asked him about and he basically acted like nothing had happened. He got close later...

So, I guess my 180 worked. Maybe no notes next time(not sure why they trigger a negative response in H. I'm hoping today is a better day.