The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

Time is a good thing. It does have a way of seeing what her real intent is.

[AFWAW]

can you forgive her with all your heart? and really do so?
Do you love your wife enough to let her back in?

I can forgive, I just don't know if I can forget and if I could ever trust again.

I am struggling with the opposite. Letting her go.

Took me a while to do this but when I did I felt so much better. You just don't know. If it helps, read the advice Gucci gave to me. You HAVE to let go to get better. You will start to see things more clearly. Stop communication right now! It was tough for about a week and then bam, it was ok. Trust me, try it.

[AFWAW]

IMHO, her moving back in with you is probably a mistake. Living separately and dating while you figure stuff out? Better.

I agree with this but I am very disappointed at the lack of concern she has from our daughter right now. Every time she comes over to supposably spend time with my daughter, she ends up trying to convince me to let her come back home. I told her that my daughter is very angry about every thing but she doesn't seem to be concerned. She still seems to only want what she wants and doesn't care about the collateral damage she has, is and will do. A big fat turn off in my book.

[AFWAW]

GH31,
Hope things are going well for you today. Read your post and funny thing is that now she's saying she only had sex w/ one man and that she was just in love w/ another man and she wanted to have sex with him but he wouldn't? WTF??? So, the lies continue. I don't know what the truth is and probably never will. I asked her why she told me there were 4 men and now only one. Her response was that she just wanted to hurt me and for me to let her go? She said she now realizes her mistake and wants to come home? WTF??? This is so unacceptable on so many levels. She has or had that little respect for me that she invents that she had affairs w/ 4 other men? I don't understand and I don't get why she has changed her mind and wants to come home especially when I see the way she interacts w/ my D and how pissed off my D is towards her. I like the new me and don't think she will allow the new me to continue if we were to get back together. She has stated that she wants our old marriage back. I told her I didn't. She has also made the statement that if I hadn't deployed, none of this would have happened. I said, so you're blaming this on me? She said, well, I would have done this stuff, I was just so overwhelmed. Can't we just have sex to see if there's still something there? don't u still love me? Can't we give it another shot?

Sigh, a large part of me wishes I wouldn't have waited so long to get a lawyer now and taken her up on her offer to divorce a few months ago. While I still love her, I can't go back to the way things were with her controlling @ss back in the house. I can't do it.

[GH31]

Read your post and funny thing is that now she's saying she only had sex w/ one man and that she was just in love w/ another man and she wanted to have sex with him but he wouldn't? WTF??? So, the lies continue. I don't know what the truth is and probably never will.

John, thanks for your reply. I've been reading your situation.

The truth is that your wife has been lying to you and taking you for a complete fool. Like mine has done with me.

Can't we just have sex to see if there's still something there? don't u still love me? Can't we give it another shot?

My God, I have heard this exact same stuff as well a few times. Verbatim, word for word. They all read from the same script.

One time when we were separated, my wife came to visit me in the city I lived in. We played pool and when I mentioned I was going on a date she kissed me passionately. The next morning we had wild, passionate sex and when I asked her why she said "I wanted to see how I feel about things". She said the same thing about one of her jaunts to see OM. Frankly I felt like smashing her jaw with a baseball bat and had to get out of the house, otherwise I would have. Not proud of myself for having had those thoughts.

Whatever you do, you have my support. Please don't go back to the same marriage you had before by letting her march right back in. I think it's gross the way she's been dealing with your daughter, and she does sound like a control freak.

[GH31]

Hey AFWAW, are you OK?

Hope all is well at your end.

GH31

[hooper1668]

John,
Checking in. Hope all is well with you and your daughter and if it is your wish with you and your wife. Take care

V/r,

[AFWAW]

Well, I tried. I went over to her apartment and we hung out for a while and had dinner. Also walked around the county fair and went out for coffee. She keeps trying to reason w/ me. She says she'll make up for the hurt and that she's hurting really bad right now and please, please, please will I give her another chance. Then she brings up stuff I've done wrong in what appears to be an attempt to minimize her transgressions. So, at least on the surface it appears to still be all about her. She has claimed that there was in fact only one guy now that she had sex with and that she stopped him after he started. She claimed to still have the EA but did not have a PA with him? She said he wouldn't but that she would have. So, I asked her why she led me to believe that it was 4 men and why was she so cruel about the whole thing, etc. Her answer was that she didn't know.
So, I don't think I can be with a woman that has that little respect for me that she would go to the extremes she has. She appears to be hurting pretty bad right now and while I don't want to see her in that state I fear I cannot be the one that fixes it for her this time. My wife did make the comment that she wanted custody of her daughter to which I responded, she doesn't want to live with you and you really don't have that option if we get a divorce. She said she will contest the divorce then. So, as I said, it still appears to be all about her.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yes it is. It always has been.

And she's STILL lying to you.

Puppy

[AFWAW]

Yes it is. It always has been.

And she's STILL lying to you.

Yep, she is. Oh, by the way, today is my anniversery. 16 wonderful years.