strong & patient (most days)

[Yoyowife]

Karen,
Sounds like the job interview went well no matter what. You at least got a foot in the door. I interviewed three times in the school district that I am in before being hired. It was frustrating at the time, but it all worked out. Sounds like they were impressed with you and will certainly keep you in mind for any other positions that come open if this position goes to another person.

Have you ever thought of subbing for the teacher or aide's positions? I know we have a hard time finding subs for our special needs aides. It certainly helps get a foot in the door.

Hang in there Karen...I know the perfect job is just right around the corner for you!

[bluerain]

Happy Belated Birthday Karen!!! Sounds like you did well at the interview! I hope that you get it, it sounds like it would be fun for you.

[karen43]

Thanks, BR. Yoyo, I am considering subbing at this point, now that the kids are in school. But some days I prob. wouldn't want to do it, for ex. Thursday doing the Mom's Morning out program at my church. Can you specify certain days or how does that work?

Yesterday was good and bad. Good job interview, then had fun at the afterschool program. X picked up D9 at 5:00 and dropped off S15 at the food bank. I worked there (they were low on people so was asked to help out) also and X sent D9 in at 6 to pick up her brother, and they left. My friends were there so was good. It's hard for me to just see them so short and then have them go. I told the pastor's wife about his yelling at me, loud cuss words last week at D9's school. She thinks he's crazy....I agreed with her.

Recently I've been having people asking me since the D is coming up how I feel or if I'm happy about it. I say I'm not happy about it, that I don't think people are ever happy about it (or shouldn't be esp. when kids involved), but that I'm ready.

[Yoyowife]

Karen,
I would not see a problem with putting down that you could not sub on Thurs. In our school system you can even specify what school you would like to sub at. Some prefer elementary while others prefer secondary.

I know somedays at our school our principal goes crazy trying to find subs. Usually the first month of school no one misses, but after that you could probably sub just about everyday depending on how many schools you sign up for.

[kat727]

I think subbing would be a great way to get your foot in the door. I thought we had talked about that before but maybe it was someone else. Plus you would have the flexibility. I know pay has also been an issue but if it outweighs the expences of the job then it is still better than nothing, right?

I know here I have had teachers say you could work everyday as long as they like you. I just hope you find something that makes you happy because really that is hard to find.

kat

[NoCodeBlues]

Kat, I do indeed think you or someone else suggested subbing once before. But now Karen has this excellent foot-in-the-door to all sorts of roles in the school, and subbing would definitely be in line to promoting that path. So it does bear repeating.

[bluerain]

Karen, I would talk to other people who sub, I have a girlfriend who is an education major (actually her name is Karen too!) and she is choosing to not sub because here, at least, if you turn down a job offer they wont call you again, and with 3 teenagers, she cant commit to always being available. Because shes trying to get on full time, shes afraid that shell look flakey if she turns down a subbing job.

[whatdidido]

Ok, back up.....how did your stbxh all of the sudden decide to let your s go to the Tuesday activities?

As for the subbing....it's different depending on administration, districts, teachers, etc. Everyone sees it differently. Where I am at, you can specify when you sub and where you sub and it doesn't matter if you turn them down. It's first come first serve and that's that.

Personally, I'm avoiding the subbing because subbing is TOUGH. It takes away all that I love about teaching....getting to know the kids, building a rappor that helps you teach them, getting to make the lessons that I know will work, etc. When you sub you get the worst part of teaching...behavior issues, the "easy lessons" that teachers can do fast since they are sick or whatever, someone else's lessons that usually are sub par, etc. Blah! There ARE perks, and I will sub if I need to and make the best of it, but I can see why someone would hesitate.

[karen43]

Ok, back up.....how did your stbxh all of the sudden decide to let your s go to the Tuesday activities?

My guess would be that he talked to his L about it. My L told me if he interferes with their long-term activities like on Tues. that she could set an emergency hearing and he wouldn't be able to have them on Tuesday. So that's the only reason I think why he would let them go. He's had to take off work early something like 4 of the last 5 weeks (and when he didn't pick up D9 the one he missed, I kept her that night). I can't see why he would risk his job ($89,000 a year) for what, a couple hundred bucks a month to possibly lower his child support?

One of my friends had an interesting idea. She said I should ask him how much $$ he wanted to walk away. B/c she thinks it's about the $$ for him. I told her I just can't do that at this point, b/c for example if I say no alimony or no child support at this point, I just can't pay the basic bills.

So then she says well you could give him his full retirement--currently I'm entitled to half and that drove X crazy when he found out. That's probably about $25,000 a year, so if I took it for 10-15 years, we're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars. If I gave that up, I'm betting he would let me have primary custody of the kids and do the every other weekend-one night thing (or less) that we were doing a couple months ago, plus he would be happy, he "won" I think. Although I would feel I won of course!!!

My main concern is I don't want to be setting myself up for a baglady, homeless sitch when I'm older, as education does not pay that much. But money isn't a big concern to me as much as the kids, so I think it might be a good idea. Thoughts?

Thanks everyone for sharing about the subbing. I know subbing is not as good as a regular gig, but eventually I may have to if $$ gets worse after the D or if I don't get a full-time job maybe eventually. Right now, I'm setting up that program at my church though so I'm going to be busy with that the next few weeks (and observing at some programs around here), then I don't want to do it the period right around my D, just in case I'm depressed or something, b/c I def. wouldn't want to give anybody a bad impression or anything. But I prob. will keep it as a possibility in the future if I need to....

[kat727]

I wouldn't give up the possiblity of the retirement funds. You do have to look out for yourself later as there are no guarantees in life. Ex cashed out his 401k to pay the L and bills but was broke within 2 months. He isn't paying into his 401k now so that he can have some extra fun money so the only retirement he has is his pension and I think he is counting on his parents leaving him a chunk of change.(He's an olnly child)

On a happy note Peter's little girl arrived. Her name is Olivia. He has pics up on the alt.

kat