Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

I have been reading your updates and Jman's, and find it interesting that WAW's think we do nothing around the home, or to help with the family. I started looking objectively at it lately, and I just don't see it. I felt guilty for not being around enough to help, but then I started compiling a list in my mind, of things I am responsible for and do in the home, and care for it, and vehicles, etc, etc. I don't discount what my WAW does for the family, but to say the list looks lopsided would be an understatment.

IWITW,

You hit the nail on the head here. I am very big on personal accountability and have done the exact same thing you have as noted above and I came to the same conclusion. You should have seen the TMs I was getting from my W following mediation- wacky stuff about never doing ANYTHING for my family, I am a "narcissist", blah blah blah. It just couldn't be further from the truth. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my W has had to put in tremendous effort to demonize me to justify her A while at the same time make OM look like The Perfect Man. I think I have tried everything to win my W back, she hasn't changed a bit, is completely emotionally detached from me at this point and as such is acting completely heartless about the screw job she is perpetrating on me and the kids. Now that I have detached from her, I've gained a new perspective and have seen where this person has really taken advantage of me in many ways over the years. The fact that she has the gall to be complaining about what few things I haven't done consistently in the recent past (even she admits that she can count them all on one hand)as a basis for her A and the D just underscores the fact that she has no idea how good she has had it or the kind of guy she has for a H.

So now I'm done with her and her $h*tty attitude. I'll try to protect the kids and survive financially as best I can without her. She can go chase that POS OM half way around the globe for all I care. I happen to be an outstanding catch and I'm not saying that to brag or as a pump up. There are a lot of women who would love to have a guy like me and once I'm done grieving the loss of my M and stabilize mine and my kids sitch, I'm going to explore other opportunities with quality women.

My point is, there is a silver lining to our sitchs guys. Either your M is going to survive the sitch and you and your W are going to come out of it with a stronger, better M or you are not. If the M doesn't survive, other better opportunities will present themselves in the future. Sometimes crap like this happens for a reason and it isn't always the worst thing that could happen to you. I'm looking at my sitch right now and thinking to myself that fortunately I'm still a relatively young man (41) who still has time to rebuild and recover emotionally and financially from a D. What if my W had pulled this $h*t when I was 60? This is the benefit of detaching- it helps you see the big picture much more clearly.

Got to run. Have a good day and I'll talk to you guys later.