a) says they would handle it (strategy and tactics) the same way regardless (of whether or not their spouse is cheating), then there's really no sense in snooping. I would DISAGREE, and still contend that the dynamics ARE vastly different when there is an active affair, and requires DIFFERENT strategy and tactics, but I would understand and respect their decision;
b) says it's NOT a dealbreaker for them -- they could forgive regardless;
c) is OK with doing the "doormat" thing, because it's part of their strategy of "standing" for the marriage, and they're doing well emotionally with it and think they can still hold on awhile longer.
then I would agree.
My challenge to Brknhrt was specifically because he said he was emphatically NOT okay with it, that it WOULD change things dramatically, and yet he saw no value in trying to find out for sure.
