A good PI isn't going to get found out. And there are plenty of things you can do short of that to find out.
I think you have your head in the sand, personally. If it doesn't make a difference to you, that's fine. But you've said a few times now that it makes a BIG difference to you.
I think you're in denial.
Puppy
So unless I hire a PI, Im in denial?
Sitch: http://snipurl.com/u4zrz
M-11y
D talk-7/28/09 W Moved out-9/01/09 W wants D-9/22/09 W doesnt want D-12/1/09 W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09 W wants D-1/19/10 D Final-04/15/10
That's not what I said. I said IF it's a dealbreaker for you (and you've said it is), and you choose not to find out, then you are in denial. The overall tone of your posts on this subject indicates to me that you're in some sort of internal strife about this issue, and maybe not that sure with your stance on it.
That's not what I said. I said IF it's a dealbreaker for you (and you've said it is), and you choose not to find out, then you are in denial. The overall tone of your posts on this subject indicates to me that you're in some sort of internal strife about this issue, and maybe not that sure with your stance on it.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Puppy
To be honest, I dont know what I would do if she told me something happen. I still love her. Ive done my share of snooping, phone logs, txt msg, etc. Nothing suspicious. Sure she could cover her tracks but I cant dwell on things that I dont have control over. The truth will come out eventually though.
Sitch: http://snipurl.com/u4zrz
M-11y
D talk-7/28/09 W Moved out-9/01/09 W wants D-9/22/09 W doesnt want D-12/1/09 W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09 W wants D-1/19/10 D Final-04/15/10
The truth will come out. As I said before, IMO it is best to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
For example, Puppy seems to think that your wife is wandering. He thinks the same about my wife. I'm not sure that it is more than an EA, but it doesn't really matter to me. Why? Because I have already accepted that a PA is likely and have decided how I am comfortable handling it.
If you can make peace with the worst possible situation, then you know you can handle anything short of that. It's something each person has to decide for themselves (how much they can take).
M30,W40,SD10,D7,S6-T9,M7 Sep 6/09 7/09 - "Moving on with my life, you should too" My Story
a) says they would handle it (strategy and tactics) the same way regardless (of whether or not their spouse is cheating), then there's really no sense in snooping. I would DISAGREE, and still contend that the dynamics ARE vastly different when there is an active affair, and requires DIFFERENT strategy and tactics, but I would understand and respect their decision;
b) says it's NOT a dealbreaker for them -- they could forgive regardless;
c) is OK with doing the "doormat" thing, because it's part of their strategy of "standing" for the marriage, and they're doing well emotionally with it and think they can still hold on awhile longer.
then I would agree.
My challenge to Brknhrt was specifically because he said he was emphatically NOT okay with it, that it WOULD change things dramatically, and yet he saw no value in trying to find out for sure.
