Thanks to you all...After calming myself, I have come to the conclusion that it is apparent he isn't in his right mind - I mean I am a nice person - To nice sometimes however to actually ask me for guidance in destroying our marriage? No can do buckaroo...
I waited to answer then sent the following -
"I understand that you feel you need to do certain things based on how you are living your life right now. I don't agree with it and I hope you understand that I will not help you in any way end what we took so long to build. You do what you feel you need to do and I will continue to do what I feel I need to do"
Never got a response however I was happy with my response...
His Mom told me he is insane...Still looking for justification to continue what he is doing...Time for me to stop getting on my fence and move forward completely...He is in my prayers and our marriage is in God's hands.
His text word for word - "I am done so I guess we are done...Tell me what you need me to do." ( I didn't see the "guess" in there until my MIL pointed it out - Not sure if it means anything anyway)
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
"I understand that you feel you need to do certain things based on how you are living your life right now. I don't agree with it and I hope you understand that I will not help you in any way end what we took so long to build. You do what you feel you need to do and I will continue to do what I feel I need to do"
Good answer. I told my wife the same: won't resist but won't assist, either. Hang in there. (())
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
"I understand that you feel you need to do certain things based on how you are living your life right now. I don't agree with it and I hope you understand that I will not help you in any way end what we took so long to build. You do what you feel you need to do and I will continue to do what I feel I need to do"
Never got a response however I was happy with my response...
I think this was a good response, Serenity. Come on, does he think he can D by text? Get real.
I did something similar to my H. In NY, if you don't have grounds (H doesn't) you have to get a legal separation agreement and be separated a year, then either one can file for the D. My very smart friend (L) said the key word is agreement. Did I agree? I said I didn't. So, he said to call him when I do agree that we should go this route.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Puppy....Coming from you, this means a lot to me...I did hear from him this morning...He was checking on the little one (he has the swine flu) and H acted like that conversation yesterday never happened...I should be used to that...Normally he spews out some load of crap and then acts like it never happened...I do wonder if our WAS ever stop to really think about the damage their words could potentially cause - I am gonna venture to say no
Wifey - Same goes for you...I appreciate any advice/words of encouragement from you...And to answer your question, he probably does think it would be as easy as a text message lol...Well I said what I had to say and I won't change my point of view...
I think Gardener says it best "Won't resist however won't assist either".
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
In NY, if you don't have grounds (H doesn't) you have to get a legal separation agreement and be separated a year, then either one can file for the D. My very smart friend (L) said the key word is agreement. Did I agree? I said I didn't.
Wish I lived in New York.
Last edited by Gardener; 10/14/0901:46 PM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
