New here, this is my story...

[ClingingToHope]

It has been 6-weeks. 3 have been with me using the DB techniques. I know that isn't enough. I know that it will take more time, but do I believe in these "signs" as evidence that things are working, or just discount it as the normal process of doubt someone goes through before they ultimately do divorce?

About six weeks ago my W and I had the one positive R talk since we separated. We got a lot on the table in a 90 minute talk -- that she initiated for once -- and at the end I asked her what's next for us? She said we should talk on the phone once a week during lunch and take it from there.

I was so psyched. I started to believe again. Then ... she didn't call the next week. I asked her if she was busy and would call the week after. She said yes ... then she didn't call again.

The only calls were about official stuff, the girls, the house, her job and schedule.

Finally last week, I broke the DB rules and forced an R talk when she asked what I wanted to do for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and in the future.

I told her I didn't want to think about next year because nothing has been filed yet. She said she would have filed by now if she had the $1,200 retainer.

That blew me away. Six weeks ago I thought there was hope and was taking comfort in the fact that although things weren't getting better still, they weren't getting worse.

Instead, she has been calling lawyers. So my friend don't assume that a holding pattern is a good thing.

In my case, I was hurt by the conversation, but felt tons better the next day. Limboland is getting shorter. I spent the rest of the week researching low-cost divorces to help her get what she says she wants.

Several people on this board have told me that in some cases the only way a WAS wakes up is to have the divorce in their faces. My W is going to have to pay me probably $20,000 out of her pension to divorce me.

I don't want the money. I want my family back. But if that's the way it's meant to be, I finally realize I will survive and thrive.