Over the Shock and GALing 6

[tryingtilDorR]

"I see nothing but pain. She's not capable of doing the work to change. It'll always be bad. I'm done. I should leave now"

I have had similar thoughts, but am steadfast in my requirement that SHE leave and not me. She seems to agree that it should be her that moves out, but she is cake-eating and doesn't want to go. I suspect your W is doing the same - doesn't want to go, but otherwise hangs around in limbo.

However, like you, I am also at a point where I just can't imagine her doing the work to change. She is too convinced, and too stubborn to un-convince herself. I suspect you are in a similar bind. It doesn't leave much room for hope.

At this point I am going to let my new level of detatchment go forward and try to exist with her a little longer. I am finding that life is better now because I am not emotionally tangled up with her, so it feels like a big burden has lifted and life seems easier now.

You seem to be in a similar state right now as far as detatching (wanting to avoid her, etc). Is this a new level of detatchment for you, or were you already there previously? If it is new, give it time and try to let the situation settle down a bit. The complication is that you have Retrouvaille post-sessions over the next couple of months, making it hard to be detached. See how things go this weekend when you attend the first post and then reassess possibly.